De-escalation Techniques

Principle: De-escalating conflict can prevent situations from becoming worse.

Promise: Effective de-escalation creates a safer and more constructive environment for resolution.

Playbook:

1. Remain Calm: Keep your own emotions in check. Use a calm voice and composed body language to convey stability and reassurance. You can influence others to display these behaviors.
2. Lower Your Voice: Use a soft, slow, and low tone when speaking. A quieter voice can help lower the intensity of the interaction, making it easier for all parties to think clearly and rationally.
3. Listen Actively: Show genuine interest in understanding the other person’s point of view. Acknowledge their feelings and repeat back what you hear to confirm that you understand them. This validation can help reduce the emotional temperature of the conflict.
4. Agree Where Possible: Find points of agreement, no matter how small, to build a foundation for negotiation and compromise. This shows your willingness to work collaboratively and it can move the focus away from areas of disagreement until you are prepared to address them.
5. Use Calming Phrases: Employ phrases that encourage calm and cooperation, such as“Let’s work on this together,” “I understand why this upsets you,” or “We can find a solution.” These phrases can help shift the tone from adversarial to cooperative.

Prompt: Next time you encounter a tense situation, consciously apply at least one of these deescalation techniques. Afterwards, reflect on how the interaction unfolded and how the technique influenced the outcome.